Well, they've never tackled the biggest one of all, not since she was first discovered, way back at the start of the modern age. The one hiding in plain sight, piled high in every shop in the land, proudly displayed in every window. The one the whole world adores and runs on. The one that causes liver cirrhosis and getting both your legs chopped off at the knee, heart disease, liver disease, cancer and dementia. The 'alcohol' that doesn't make you drunk, 'cause they left the hydroxyl group off the molecule. The thing that little kids jump up and down with excitement for, in anticipation of the 'hit', when Mum puts it in the shopping basket; in a way that they never do, for Bertie Broccoli and Cyril Carrot. The one that Eric Clapton said his chain of addictions started off with, right back at the start, and let's face it, he should know.
No, it's not Colin Caffeine, although you might be forgiven for thinking so, and it's not Barney Bubbles or Alice Alcohol, either, although it has to be acknowledged that Alice has had a good run.
Step forward, Cubey! We can't live without you, and we all love you! Now you're talking, that's my kind of "white powder".
"The only one who could ever reach me..." - even Count Binface and Li'l Kim, can't compete! Those dope-heads ain't got nuthin' on you. Admittedly, the street contortions aren't quite so bad... at the beginning, until the diabetic leg-chopping starts.
Ah, yeah, that's my girl!

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