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ILUXA

Aspiring Daemon

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mark_j

Aspiring Daemon

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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:


"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it ? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

Proper attribution to: https://www.albany.edu/faculty/miesing/teaching/assess/hell.html
 

bookwormep

Well-Known Member

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"...I learned to never wrestle with a pig, you get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it...."
- George Bernard Shaw
 

Crivens

Moderator
Staff member
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Well, as an engineer, this being compared with pigs hurts my feelings! We need to argue about your statement there, don't we?
 

vigole

Aspiring Daemon

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Well, as an engineer, this being compared with pigs hurts my feelings! We need to argue about your statement there, don't we?
We can pretend that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding. Here's the solution: suppose we're living in the 19th century. Now engineer doesn't mean engineer anymore. It means a locomotive driver. If we suppose there's no locomotive driver in the Forums, then the problem is solved.

 

ralphbsz

Son of Beastie

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In US firefighting language, an engineer is someone who takes care of and drives an engine. A fire engine is the big red vehicle that carries water, pumps, and equipment. Normal fire fighters ride on the engine (in passenger seats), and do the work of putting out the fire or helping the injured person. The engineer is a specialized senior fire fighter responsible getting the fire fighters, water, and all equipment to the place, and he's the boss of the fire fighters who ride with him. As a sign of their rank, they have a bugle (looks like a trumpet) on their uniform, to indicate that they give orders to other firefighters. In practice, you usually don't even see the uniform, since they usually wear the heavy yellow safety gear. The next rank up is a a fire captain, who usually commands a crew of several engines, and has two crossed bugles on his uniform. From then on there is a hierarchy of chiefs; here in California, at the top is a 5-star chief known simply as "director". During the hot late summer season, he is just about the most important person in the state.

So, not all engineers write code or make diagrams; some actual solve real-world problems.
 

vigole

Aspiring Daemon

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It's rare but in some culture, people saw boars as the symbols of power and fierceness. There's also some tradition of using boars in their art (silver and gold plate)
 

chrbr

Aspiring Daemon

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Well, as an engineer, this being compared with pigs hurts my feelings! We need to argue about your statement there, don't we?
It could be Fighting an engineer in mud is like arguing with a pig. :beer: :D. I am an engineer by myself, but I am not sure which statement is correct o_O.
 

vigole

Aspiring Daemon

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I hope somebody from Germany clarify it for me:
Many years ago I heard that using word "pig" is extremely offensive in Germany, specifically in Germany/Deutschland (I'm not talking about German language)
 

chrbr

Aspiring Daemon

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Hi [USER=45562]vigole[/USER],
yes, "pig" is very offensive. In German it is "Schwein". The word is also used as little "baby pig" or "piglet" (according www.leo.org dictionary) as "kleines Schweinchen" for children playing in mud or who are not yet able to handle food with a spoon and spread that all around. Then it is not offensive at all. Unfortunately the use of rude words is increasing and the wordings are getting more offensive as well. But it is still not a good idea to name someone a pig.
 

mjollnir

Daemon

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Many years ago I heard that using word "pig" is extremely offensive in Germany, specifically in Germany/Deutschland (I'm not talking about German language)
It can be considered offensive, but not extremely offensive. Among friends or family, it can even be used in a charming fashion, e.g. when someone spills at dinner, s/he's called "Ey you pig, watch your food!".
 

vigole

Aspiring Daemon

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Thanks [USER=41201]chrbr[/USER] and [USER=37644]mjollnir[/USER].
To avoid misunderstanding, sometime it's good to know how things works. Very helpful.
 

ralphbsz

Son of Beastie

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In addition to what chrbr and mjollnr already said about Schwein being generally dirty (in the sense of being covered in mud), and Schweinerei being a mess, it has acquired a meaning about indecency: Schweinekram (swine stuff) is often used to describe sexually explicit material. And "Du Schwein" is an insult for highly inappropriate behavior. Say you're standing at a bar, and see a person of the desirable gender, and fondle their behind without permission: you might get slapped, and they might yell "Du Schwein" at you. Because that's the kind of antisocial behavior that only pigs would do.

Personally, I'm very fond of Schwein, but only when prepared well: roasts, cutlets, loins, and in particular sausages.
 

mjollnir

Daemon

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In 1989/90 tons of governmental documents/papers were shreddered here in Berlin. Isn't that funny: these people committed crimes and wrote it down! :)
EDIT: This is meant to be a hint and kind invitation...
 

Ordoban

Active Member

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In 1989/90 tons of governmental documents/papers were shreddered here in Berlin. Isn't that funny: these people committed crimes and wrote it down! :)
EDIT: This is meant to be a hint and kind invitation...
And today? Not so long ago the BND (the German secret service) was caught breaking laws. What does the ordinary citizen think? Dismiss! Punish! Make sure it never happens again! And what is the government doing? They change the laws that it is now legal what the BND does! I can't eat as much as I want to puke!
 

mjollnir

Daemon

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The office of the Club of Former Presidents of Absurdistan has ordered 5 copies of: "A Quick Guide to Group-Therapy Methods in Psychotherapy"
 
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