Listen,
If anything ever belonged in "off topic" this is it. Not even you DutchDaemon are going to tell me THIS ONE don't belong in "OFF TOPIC" lol. When me and my girl moved into this apartment there was a cat that had a litter of kittens, they were all running amuck outside. Naturally we felt bad. So we felt bad enough to feed them for a little while. I go outside, he's sleeping in my chair. :/ Oh how cute.
That lasted about a month. Look, I got laid off times are tough, this girl ALREADY has two ferrets which she makes me take care of but thats another story all together. I stopped feeding them about two weeks ago. This morning my numb, (not the ferrets, the cats you idiot, now pay attention!) yes numb, not dumb. The lights are on I swear. Girlfriend left the front door open.. This behavior from the chick who complains about leaving the computers on yet leaves every light on, cupboard doors, front doors no exception, apparently, wide open.
NO BIG DEAL RIGHT. I shut the door, nothing needs to be said don't want to argue today. Just gonna get my coffee and go back to forums.freebsd.org THANKS for playing. I take two steps towards my bedroom as I sip my coffee and spit it all over the place. Ok ok, that's an exxageration. But I DID stop dead in my tracks. Theres a ******* cat on my bed. Now. That doesn't seem all to bad does it? Just a cute little kitty, wants to be loved, all that bullocks. WRONG. Listen, the things not normal, and he's got an attitude. If I go near him he hisses.
I fed him he ate a whole god damn bowl of beef stew *my lunch* mind you, trying to be nice here. He eats it in a panic like an ethiopian with a lunch ticket, (no offense meant, just an example I hate those commercials they make me sad ) anyway, he finishes eating and goes and sits on the couch just chilling like he is paying RENT. I sit next to him ever so slowly, merging little by little, not to "alarm" him. He hisses, goes in the bedroom and lies back on my bed. Oh my, i'm sorry, was it something I said? WTF. This is no normal cat. So hours go by, he's currently hiding behind the bed, I can't get him out, my girlfriend went to work, Leaving me here with two ferrets that cant come out and play (can you IMAGINE.) because now there is a rabid kamikaze cat with an attitude larger than hers. (like I needed to add to that effect.)
And so here I am. This is god's plan for me with this cat tabby-krueger http://www.freakingnews.com/Cat-Terror-Pictures--976.asp inches behind me ready to attack my throat, so close yet so far away and if you don't mind me saying so I think the spicyness of that beef stew I made yesterday just got to him, because it just got to me if you know what I mean. It smells awful. We bought regular cat food its over by the DOOR as well as a little box so he can even drop off whatever he needs on the way OUT. But the god damn cat won't leave. Suggestions welcomed. And not for the girlfriend, for the cat. (I already tried.) Seriously though, I feel bad but I am not about to go stick my face behind the bed it's not your typical bed there's no "under" it it touches the floor completely and hes wedged in between it and the wall. How can I help him feel more comfortable? I tried playing the guitar but it appears he doesn't like metallica or pantera much, and I don't do country so don't ask the little **** can stay there. Jesus christ on crutches. THe thing won't let me near it, he's crazier than a bag of angeldust.
If anything ever belonged in "off topic" this is it. Not even you DutchDaemon are going to tell me THIS ONE don't belong in "OFF TOPIC" lol. When me and my girl moved into this apartment there was a cat that had a litter of kittens, they were all running amuck outside. Naturally we felt bad. So we felt bad enough to feed them for a little while. I go outside, he's sleeping in my chair. :/ Oh how cute.
That lasted about a month. Look, I got laid off times are tough, this girl ALREADY has two ferrets which she makes me take care of but thats another story all together. I stopped feeding them about two weeks ago. This morning my numb, (not the ferrets, the cats you idiot, now pay attention!) yes numb, not dumb. The lights are on I swear. Girlfriend left the front door open.. This behavior from the chick who complains about leaving the computers on yet leaves every light on, cupboard doors, front doors no exception, apparently, wide open.
NO BIG DEAL RIGHT. I shut the door, nothing needs to be said don't want to argue today. Just gonna get my coffee and go back to forums.freebsd.org THANKS for playing. I take two steps towards my bedroom as I sip my coffee and spit it all over the place. Ok ok, that's an exxageration. But I DID stop dead in my tracks. Theres a ******* cat on my bed. Now. That doesn't seem all to bad does it? Just a cute little kitty, wants to be loved, all that bullocks. WRONG. Listen, the things not normal, and he's got an attitude. If I go near him he hisses.
I fed him he ate a whole god damn bowl of beef stew *my lunch* mind you, trying to be nice here. He eats it in a panic like an ethiopian with a lunch ticket, (no offense meant, just an example I hate those commercials they make me sad ) anyway, he finishes eating and goes and sits on the couch just chilling like he is paying RENT. I sit next to him ever so slowly, merging little by little, not to "alarm" him. He hisses, goes in the bedroom and lies back on my bed. Oh my, i'm sorry, was it something I said? WTF. This is no normal cat. So hours go by, he's currently hiding behind the bed, I can't get him out, my girlfriend went to work, Leaving me here with two ferrets that cant come out and play (can you IMAGINE.) because now there is a rabid kamikaze cat with an attitude larger than hers. (like I needed to add to that effect.)
And so here I am. This is god's plan for me with this cat tabby-krueger http://www.freakingnews.com/Cat-Terror-Pictures--976.asp inches behind me ready to attack my throat, so close yet so far away and if you don't mind me saying so I think the spicyness of that beef stew I made yesterday just got to him, because it just got to me if you know what I mean. It smells awful. We bought regular cat food its over by the DOOR as well as a little box so he can even drop off whatever he needs on the way OUT. But the god damn cat won't leave. Suggestions welcomed. And not for the girlfriend, for the cat. (I already tried.) Seriously though, I feel bad but I am not about to go stick my face behind the bed it's not your typical bed there's no "under" it it touches the floor completely and hes wedged in between it and the wall. How can I help him feel more comfortable? I tried playing the guitar but it appears he doesn't like metallica or pantera much, and I don't do country so don't ask the little **** can stay there. Jesus christ on crutches. THe thing won't let me near it, he's crazier than a bag of angeldust.