Try to invent a joke.


Son of Beastie

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He said, "You are The Chosen One.
The One who will deliver The Message.
A Message of Hope for those who choose to hear it,
And a Warning for those who do not".
Me... The Chosen One.
They chose me...
And I didn't even graduate from fsckin' High School.

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be The One...
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our Ending.
To write it down for all the World to see.
But I forgot my pen...
She-it the bed again.

The Zebra F-301 Stainless Steel Ballpoint Pen. Never leave home without it.

I never do...

Lyrics courtesy of Tool - Rosetta Stoned



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When I was in college, taking a Systems Administrations class back in 2003-04, we were learning about how to deal with misbehaving processes. The command to terminate such a process just happened to be # /bin/kill - 9. We used /usr/bin/talk to give each other fair warnings before proceeding to terminate the other guy's process (and kick him off the practice server). And then in class the next day, someone was saying, "Y'know, I got killed last night, so I couldn't do anything".



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Three penguins walk into a bar. Which was stupid, the second two should have seen it. (Not original).


Aspiring Daemon

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No such thing as an original joke, I don't think, even if you never heard it before.

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office, with a duck on his head. The psychiatrist looks up, and the duck says, "Can you help me get this guy off my ass?"



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Back when I worked in a different business, one day, I made a pretty stupid mistake. Another customer, with whom I was pretty friendly, called later to order, and we were talking and she asks, How are you? And I said, Embarrassed and told her of my mistake.

And she said, Hey don't feel badly. My sister works for a travel agency, and yesterday she sent a client to Paris, France, and their luggage to Paris, Texas.

And ya know what? I did feel better.
Which reminds me of another one. There I was moping, and heard a voice saying, Cheer up. Things could be worse.

So, I thought, That voice is right. I cheered up. Sure enough, things got worse.


Active Member

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There once was a free software project that prided itself on its permissive licensing, and then switched to a development tool written by Linus Torvalds and exclusively GPL.


Active Member

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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. --from the fortune file


Active Member

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Found on

When I was leaving Montreal, I decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road.
I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the other stall…
- Hi there, how is it going?

I'm thinking to myself, what the hell? Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in the loos on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say, so finally I say:
-Not bad…

Then the voice says:
- So, what are you doing?

I am starting to find this a bit weird and very uncomfortable, but I finally reply with:
- Well, I'm going back east…

Then I hear the person, all flustered, say:
- Look, I'll call you back honey--every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!


Well-Known Member

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A baker, geologist and a lawyer walk in to a bar. They all have a few rounds of drinks and declare: we should collaborate on a project together. Still another round of drinks. In conclusion, they decide to cook-up, a rock-solid, legal defense strategy.