Time for something interesting , dating apps.

For some reason that reminds me of the Steve Martin routine, where, in a French accent, he talks about how he has spent his life learning about women. He is wearing his jacket on his shoulders. He adds lines like, as I have spent my life learning about women I have not learned certain things. I cannot put my arms in my sleeves, I cannot read or write. But I know all about women. (Much funnier if you watch him do it).

To Alain, it was hard back in the 80's and 90's too. I remember begging friends to introduce me to someone. I was doing karate, so started doing ballet, telling myself that I was doing it to get flexible but let's face it, I realized that 95% of the class were women and that was a big factor. (Indirectly, it led to me meeting my wife, a Japanese friend in New York who'd been a policeman in Japan, was doing things like babysitting, and one of the kids he babysat took a ballet class with my wife, so he introduced us.)

I will just say that while you are alone, spend the time improving yourself so that when you do meet someone worthwhile, you're worthwhile too. Shucks, I only speak Engish well, and some Japanese. You're in Belgium, judging from your posts, your English is excellent and you probably speak Flemish and French (or maybe just one of them--but the few Belgians I've met speak both). That alone should give you a bit of confidence. It's hard when you're looking. Probably, once you find someone you'll soon meet others who are interested, because either that's how life works or because when we have someone, we have some subtle air of confidence. Anyway, hang in there. Probably everyone who isn't movie star handsome has gone through the "I'll never meet anyone" phase.

I'll close with a quote from Terry Pratchett, which perhaps, describes my wife and I in our early days.
My father met my adoptive mother because a common-friend introduced the one to the other.
 
Really, that seems to be one of the most common ways people meet.
Online is now the most common way today, but if we exclude that it I belive it is a 50/50 on between meeting them threw someone else and meeting them by yourself. Going by the vibes of today
 
Clubs and conventions in general are the best to get a date and friends, because people there gather with the same interest as you. Like a book club, you go to a book club to met the people that are interested in books as you.
 
Funny dating story: A friend of ours got divorced, and it was very painful for him. After a while he decided that he needed to meet a nice woman. So he thought "what do women typically have as a hobby", and he went to take a cooking class. Total disaster. Most of the people in the class were men, and most of them were single men who all came there thinking that they would find women there. Net result: Our friend is now a marvelous cook.

Totally unrelated, he did find the perfect wife a few years later, by coincidence, when doing his favorite sport. Not a setting where you would expect to meet single people.
 
Most of the people in the class were men
LOL! I made the same experience a couple of months ago.
Not that I was looking for a women, but I was convinced:
"cooking class - I'll be the only rooster beyond all hens."
WRONG! Total sausage fest.
The only woman was the teacher.

Idea: Maybe give a computer class, and you'll be the only guy teaching a class of women.

find the perfect wife a few years later, by coincidence,
That's the way it works.
At least if one is not looking for some kind of adventure but a life-partner.

You need to meet real people in real life.
Communication is way - way - more as one can establish by using electronic devices.
Particulary the process of partners finding each other happens on all forms and levels of communication, especially the non verbal ones.

As already pointed out, at best dating apps are for finding sex, but mostly for chatting, only.
Well, there may partner-finding-agencys actually working. I knew a couple met each other this way. Married happily ever after with children etc. but by my overall experience that's like relying on playing the lotterie for income.

As a young man I learned:
Who searches will not find.

That's because if you trying to find a woman as a partner, you reek of desperation.
Adult, consolidated women run as fast, and as far as they can by the lightest touch of desperation.

Stop searching and get rid of desperation are part of the same progress.
Einstein said:
"Life is like riding a bicycle. You need to stay in motion to keep your balance."
When you truely are in balance with yourself, the world, and the universe,
meet real people, in real life, in real world.
More sooner than later the right partner for you will find you, automatically, unexpectedly.

Otherwise best you can get is an imature woman with issues, or worse some kind of a sick broad.
Or, what also many men do, is to fake, play self-confidence, while they are not truely consolidated in balance.
Any of those is not going to end well.
 
From https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...it-and-it-does-make-you-healthier-and-happier
If you are doing yoga, you are probably a woman. I am often the only man in class, but I have never felt uncomfortable or unwelcome. I’m not entirely sure it would be the same if I were the only woman among men.
I attend an online (zoom) gentle yoga class where everyone other than me is a woman. At the local YMCA supposedly it is the same (the demand so outstrips supply, one has to sign up for every class, which I don't get around to).
 
Back
Top