For the moment I'm trying to limit a user *total* memory use. In such a way that, even if i would set "swap off", a general user "foo" could not put the system out of memory and crash all.
I think that FreeBSD is very conservative, even for the "server" setting that is currently "stiffly" soft-wired. They want "hot" processes to get the juice, and to make sure that filesystem stuff is never reloaded, and the paging to other queues is kept down for IO throughput. So - it's a server with a network bias.
But, would be nice to have vm.server_bias=0 or some such (bad name) - switch for us GUI guys.