Tell me exactly what laptop to install FreeBSD on.

I want to burn a memstick.img onto a USB stick.

I want to plug that into a laptop.

I want to turn on that laptop, and by pressing a magical set of keys, start the installation process for FreeBSD.

I want wi-fi via DHCP to already work flawlessly during this installation process.

After installation, I want a console, I want the important parts of the keyboard to work, and I want the laptop to go to sleep when I close the lid. If I must jump through hoops for this to happen, I would like them to be well-documented hoops specific to the hardware I am using.

I do not want to remove write-protect screws. I do not want to flash the BIOS.

I do not need to install a GUI. I do not need the "media keys" to work.

I want *you*, who I trust and respect, to post a link to a laptop I will buy to do this to, and to which you have already done exactly this same thing.
 
Most people are using older hardware, the features on these machines are now stable, but were not when they were introduced.
From personal experience, an Advent 9112 and a HP G62 work.
F.O.S.S. and FreeBSD will always lag behind new developments as it is a game of catchup by dedicated enthusiasts, not many of the developers get paid to work on the system.
 
Lenovo X220*, unfortunately you can't buy it new anymore.

* I can't recall for certain if the wifi worked during the install process and I don't suspend when I close the lid, but suspend does work and I'm guessing this could be configured. Moreover, you have to be careful regarding the hardware options you choose. I can confirm that the Intel Centrino Advanced-N 6205 wireless card and the Intel HD Graphics 3000 work. It's also worth noting that Lenovo doesn't allow you to swap the wireless card, although it's possible with some BIOS hacking.

ADDED: Following orders, here is a link: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WINDOWS-7-IBM ... 1076286518
ADDED: If you're not installing a GUI, perhaps you don't need to worry about support for newer graphics cards. But, I haven't tested this myself as I don't have anything newer than what I listed above.
 
Lenovo does allow swapping the wireless card, to any of a small selection of Lenovo-approved, Lenovo-branded, Lenovo-priced boards. HP does this also. Lenovo, and IBM before them, claimed that was to be sure that the cards met a country's regulatory specifications. Certainly we all know people rotting in prison because their laptop wireless card blasted out a tenth of a milliwatt of thundering power on a channel that was normally reserved for a garage door opener.

Acer, Toshiba, and Dell do not protect their customers this way.
 
The third post on this page is the closest I can find to an official response from Lenovo on the subject. If you read a little of the thread, many people question the motivations. So, I asked Lenovo.
 
An update regarding the original topic: I did a fresh install to an external drive and I can confirm that WiFi did work during installation. One thing that is annoying with the X220 is the buggy BIOS. It will not boot GPT-partitioned disks using Legacy BIOS, so until FreeBSD supports UEFI, you'll need MBR. Moreover, the combination of MBR and ZFS root doesn't boot with FreeBSD's bootloader. Grub2 with customized configuration scripts based on the ones shipped with PC-BSD does. See sysutils/grub2-pcbsd. The bonus here is faster boot times and cool boot environment support in the boot menu.
 
Most of these threads contain references to installing FreeBSD on ancient hardware, a lot of which isn't even available anymore. Its very frustrating!

I have a relatively recent suggestion: a System76 Gazelle (Ivy Bridge) which is about a year old (i7,16gb ram, 1080p screen, big ssd etc)

I installed from a CDROM. Installed fine. Wifi and 1080p video work fine with no tweaking (this laptop has Intel wifi and Intel video). Sound was fine.

The webcam, suspend/resume etc I can't speak to, as I never cared if this stuff worked anyway.

This will probably be the last laptop I install FreeBSD on...from this point forward I will probably just use some cheap client like a Chromebook and ssh into my FreeBSD vps instance.
 
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